Trigger warning: anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation

Let me make one thing clear: I am a huge “Dear Evan Hansen” fan. I was lucky enough to see the musical live in San Diego last year after listening to the soundtrack on repeat for months. I’ve been a fan of Ben Platt — the original cast member for Evan Hansen — long before I even stumbled across the musical.

From his roles in “Pitch Perfect” and “The Politician”, to his two original albums “Sing To Me Instead” and “Reverie”, I love this man and everything he creates.

“Dear Evan Hansen” is a story about two families. The Hansen family consists of Evan — a high school student who suffers from intense anxiety and depression — and his mother who works long shifts at a hospital to keep the family financially afloat. On the other side of the spectrum, the Murphy family is wealthy with a stay-at-home mom, a breadwinning step-father and two children: Zoe and Connor.

Evan is given a task from his therapist to write letters to himself to encourage positive thinking. Early on in the film, Connor, who doesn’t seem to get along with his family members or peers, steals one of Evan’s letters from the school library’s printer. Later, Connor commits suicide and his parents find Evan’s letter in his pocket.

This leads Connor’s parents to believe that Evan and Connor were good friends, and Evan goes along with the lie, finding a sense of comfort being around Evan’s family, helping them mourn and finally feeling like he belongs.

That all being said, I was extremely excited for this movie.

I saw the performance live, but it wasn’t the original cast. So, the opportunity to see Platt reprise his role of Evan Hansen on the big screen was the ultimate dream come true.

When I walked into the theater in San Diego that Sunday afternoon — carrying a blue raspberry Icee, a bag of buttered popcorn and a soft pretzel — the hype was real. When I saw the near-empty theater, I was a little shocked. It was the opening weekend, and barely anyone was in attendance. 

I settled into my seat, and before I knew it, the music to the opening song started softly. I got ready to sing softly along to all the amazing music the movie had to offer.

But wait. The song that was playing wasn’t the opening number. It was the second track in the musical. I quickly realized they decided to omit the first song, “Anybody Have a Map,”  and instead use the second song in the soundtrack, “Waving Through A Window” as the opening.

“Anybody Have a Map” is such a great opening song; it’s easily one of my favorites in the whole soundtrack and provides a thorough exposition of the Hansen and Murphy family dynamics. Don’t get me wrong, “Waving Through A Window” is one of the best songs in the musical. It’s Evan’s first solo and a great glimpse into his character, but falsely gives off the impression that this is Evan’s story — which isn’t the case at all.

The story is about the Hansen and Murphy families, mental health, making mistakes and dealing with the repercussions of poor choices. Skipping the first song changes the entire dynamic of the show and takes way from the bigger picture of the story focus. To me, this was the biggest let down of the movie adaptation.

The film also failed to include three other songs from the original soundtrack: “Disappear,” “To Break In a Glove” and “Good For You”. While these omissions don’t hurt the story as much as changing the opening song, it still takes away from the intent and storyline that the original soundtrack portrayed.

The movie also featured two new songs: “The Anonymous Ones” performed by Amandla Stenberg as Alana Beck and “A Little Closer” performed by Colton Ryan as Connor. I absolutely loved the addition of “A Little Closer,” and of everything the writers changed from the original show, this addition was the best alteration. This change is the only one that actually improved the story from the original on-stage musical. This song at the end of the movie brought tears to my eyes and wrapped up the whole story so much nicer than the original finale. 

When considering the casting, there was a ton of controversy around Platt reprising his role as Evan. At 28 years old, many people said Platt is simply too old to accurately portray a high school student. Honestly, I found it barely even noticeable. He did an amazing job and no one else could have been picked for that role. Platt is Evan and that is final.

Stephen Chbosky — writer and director of “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” — did a great job adapting the stage musical to the screen. He utilized film aspects that cannot be achieved on stage and really brought the story to life. One major change, however, was the tone of the film.

The original musical is hilarious. There are so many out-of-pocket, PG-13 jokes that left me stunned in the audience on my first go-around. But, the film definitely took a more serious tone and dove deeper into mental health and suicide issues that the musical did not explore as throroughly. Although I think that this is an important emphasis, it took away from a lot of the fun and laughter the stage musical contained.

All my opinions aside, the facts don’t lie, and the facts are simple: this movie is not doing well.

The film brought in an estimated $8 million during its domestic opening weekend, falling short of the estimated $10 million in ticket sales during the first Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The reviews haven’t been that great either, with 6.1/10 on IMDB and a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Overall, I thought the movie did a decent job of staying true to the original themes of the musical, but it felt rushed at times and changed a little too much for my liking. Despite this, I still love the musical and I still love Platt. I’m seeing him in concert in April, and I absolutely cannot wait. Although this movie wasn’t the best, it in no way takes away from my love for the musical and Platt’s work.