There’s a metaphor for storytelling structure that has been relayed to me several times. You chase your character up a tree, throw rocks at them and then let them figure out how to climb down. In essence: the three-act structure, which is the building block of most films. 

Does "Magic Mike's Last Dance" follow this structure? 

Mike isn't chased but willingly makes his way over to London on a private jet. The rocks thrown at him are pebbles because all conflicts are resolved as soon as they appear. Yes, he figures out how to climb down from the metaphorical tree, but if he had no problem getting up there, and no problem swinging from the branches, do we really care that he got down safely? 

And this is where “Magic Mike’s Last Dance,” directed by Steven Soderbergh and released to theaters on Feb. 9, begins to lose rhythm. Nowadays, with the rise of streaming and experimental filmmaking, no film is required to follow the three-act structure. If a film does choose to disregard these long held rules, it must validate its existence with strong conflict and characters. 

"Magic Mike's Last Dance" has neither. 

The film is centered around Mike Lane, played by Channing Tatum, who is running a mildly successful furniture business and has no stable relationship in his life when he suddenly finds himself in London, where he helps rich and newly-separated Maxandra Mendoza (Salma Hayek Pinault) create a lively dance show to replace a drab theater production. 

Mike and Maxandra’s goal is to put on a new show in the theater Maxandra owns. What exactly they’re trying to achieve with this show is not quite clear. Maxandra preaches that with Mike’s stripper expertise, they will awaken the female audience and produce a feminist triumph that brings art back to life, assuming it was already dead to begin with. 

The new show is also a ploy to get back at her ex-husband, a goal that makes sense in theory. But said husband is seen three times throughout the film, is not present during the show's “climactic” premiere and never poses any viable threat to Mike. There’s no reason to worry they might fail. 

Maybe the true conflict is Maxandra and Mike learning to love each other. Hayek Pinault and Tatum have chemistry on screen, most of which can be attributed to Tatum’s charm and comedic timing. But why they care for each other or why Mike falls for her is only alluded to, resulting in a viewing experience that makes you feel as though you are on the precipice of something wonderful but just can’t reach it. 

As for characters, the film introduces an ensemble of dancers whose names I can’t remember and who barely had any dialogue or story. But such a large amount of screentime is devoted to finding them, it’s almost like assembling the Avengers and then cueing the credits. 

It should also be noted that Maxandra’s daughter Zadie (Jemelia George) is an enjoyable character to watch, but she is the meddling kid stereotype typically reserved for family-oriented comedies. And she offers a voice-over throughout the film that is purposeless and chokes the life out of the “meaning of dance.” 

One might think going into the third movie that audiences will have fallen in love with Magic Mike. And they have, due to Tatum’s magnetic presence on screen. But we don’t actually know or learn anything about him, and we’re not quite sure why we should be rooting for him.

“Last Dance” might be suffering from the shortcomings of its two predecessors, where all the typical character-building would have taken place. But the original “Magic Mike” did a wonderful job of creating this enticing, mesmerizing world that is a Tampa, Florida strip club. With the setting serving as a supporting actor itself, Tatum’s real-world experience and Soderbergh’s observer-like direction, it wasn’t too bothersome that we didn’t know much about Mike’s past. 

So you would think when choreographing their last dance, we would be welcomed back to Florida and met with the same seductive yet realistic atmosphere that ignited this flame. 

Instead, we’re flown to another country and forced to spend time with a British butler (Ayub Khan-Din) and Maxandra who, while fun to watch, is a main character attempting to outshine Mike when the film is named after him and we’re thrust into a world more focused on dance than stripping. Because these elements are so unlike the other two films, it feels like “Last Dance” belongs to an entirely different franchise. 

Make no mistake, on the Sunday night I went to see this film, the theater was packed and cheers could be heard in the audience anytime articles of clothing started to disappear. Maybe the movie is great and simply suffering from a lack of Matthew McConaughey. 

But there was a certain magic that lived and breathed in the first film and was, somewhat, still present in the second. The sense that we, as viewers, were walking through a world we knew nothing about. We were hiding in the backroom of the club as the strippers goofed off. We were in the audience as Mike took the stage. We witnessed Mike’s friends struggle with drugs and we understood their money issues. 

“Magic Mike” turned an industry built on fantasy into reality. That reality has once again been turned into commercialized fantasy. And now that lackluster fantasy is all that’s left.