For the past five months, moviegoers have been unable to escape director Matthew Vaughn’s “Argylle” trailer, which has relentlessly played before what seems like every single movie.

It introduces the story of Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), a cat-loving author who has somehow managed to predict real-life —– and top-secret —– events in her hit book series. Although Henry Cavill serves as the fictional Argylle in Conway’s book series, viewers are left with the burning question, “Who is the real agent Argylle?”. As someone who knows the answer, hold your hype. The reveal isn’t nearly as exciting as you think. 

“Argylle” is the latest entry in Vaughn’s filmography.  After Conway’s predictions put her in the path of danger, super spy Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell) swoops in to save her from an evil espionage organization that wants to discover how she’s doing it, but he has secrets of his own. 

Vaughn is somewhat notorious for over-the-top and action-packed blockbusters, but “Argylle” isn’t one of his better ones. It’s hard to believe this came from the same mind that gave us “Kingsman: The Secret Circle.” Vaughn seemed to prioritize flashy moments over plot coherence, and it’s very apparent. In the era of TikTok, attention-grabbing scenes that can be posted and reshared are kind of a necessity. These moments result in some memorable visuals, but that wasn’t enough to save the movie, and sadly, neither was the star-studded cast. 

The concept is very clever, which is why I wanted to see it in the first place, but the execution left a lot to be desired. For one thing, it was a trope palooza. Every single thing that happens in a generic action movie happens. Every bit of ‘typical spy terminology’ is used at least once. There is a romance arc that hardly feels earned and is totally shoe-horned in. It also randomly borrows the plot of “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” in a hilarious way (and I don’t think ‘hilarious’ is what they were going for in that instance). 

Regardless of its many issues, it’s still a fun romp. Or at least it is until everything falls apart in the third act. The film is far too reliant on plot twists. The first two were clever and even managed to surprise me, but by the fourth big reveal, it lost its charm. The twists are there just to keep the shock value alive, even though it is diminished with each one. They also made the film feel absolutely endless. It could’ve been about 40 minutes shorter, if not more. 

Other than being too centered around reveals, another major issue is  — and I truly cannot believe I am saying these words — the overabundance of Cavill (who plays the titular character). His presence felt gimmicky and his god-awful haircut certainly didn’t help matters either. Cavill is well seasoned in the art of playing a spy (see “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” as a reference), but that is unfortunately not put to good use here. 

I am generally willing to give films the benefit of the doubt even if they’re getting bad reviews, but it’s easy to see why this isn’t off to a great start at the box office. The foundation for something really enjoyable was there, but it missed the mark in a big way. It’s at times genius and at others incredibly stupid. There was no middle ground to be found. 

I won’t sit here and bash everything about the movie since there is some fun to be had. Rockwell is absolutely the best part,  and it’s clear the whole cast almost certainly had a blast making this. Vaughn excels in the realm of action scenes, and he delivered here. I’d also be remiss not to mention the fun cameos from John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana Debose and Samuel L. Jackson, among others. 

On the topic of the cast, Howard and Rockwell have good chemistry. They make for a fun duo, despite some issues with the writing. Catherina O’Hara is once again a stellar mother character. Bryan Cranston clearly had the time of his life playing the Big Bad. We need to let him do that more in better movies. 

“Argylle” opened everywhere Feb. 2. It’s worth the watch if you’re bored and need something fun to put on, but let me assure you that it’s okay to wait until it comes to AppleTV. Trust me.