Review | ‘Red One’ is terribly bland festive fun
Photo Collage by Samantha Rosinski, Staff Photographer
Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans and a CGI polar bear walk into a toy store. “J.K. Simmons — I mean Santa Claus — has gone missing,” says The Rock. “And the United States government needs him back to save Christmas.”
Then eventually there should be a punchline, but that isn’t what “Red One” is all about. Despite its silly premise, it’s not a frequently funny film. There are light chuckles here and there, but it’s by and large a hollow action comedy that leans into tired tropes and blandness.
And it isn’t really a movie that can coast off of star power either. The Rock, at the forefront of every poster and marketing material, plays the same role he always does: a stoic, no-nonsense muscleman who says silly things with absolute seriousness. He’s a member of the North Pole’s special security task force, Enforcement Logistics and Fortification (E.L.F.), one day away from retirement — until he’s thrust into one final adventure.
It feels cliché, and it is.
What isn’t cliché is this glossed-over detail. You see, The Rock is disillusioned with Christmas. For the first time ever, more people are on the naughty list than the nice list. What does this mean for the world? Are we, as a species, facing moral decline? Can this change? Can we be redeemed? These questions are never raised, and this plot point is barely addressed. The villainous winter witch Grýla (Kiernan Shipka) hopes to punish the naughty, but no depth is given to her motivations or the repercussions of what this entails.
What we do see is Chris Evans and his estranged son Dylan (Wesley Kimmel) reconnect on a Christmas adventure. Evans plays one Jack O’Malley, a world-class mercenary hacker who’s also a terribly absent father. After a job of his inadvertently leads to Santa Claus getting kidnapped, he’s begrudgingly hired by M.O.R.A. (another acronym, for the clandestine Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority that Santa and The Rock work for) to find him. From there, the villains kidnap his son, and Evans has to fight to save him.
It feels cliché, and it is.
But Evans is almost enough to bring some life to “Red One.” He channels some of the sleazy charm of his role in “Knives Out,” with the movie peaking in an early heist scene in which he literally steals candy from a baby. He’s the only one of the main cast who doesn’t feel like he’s phoning it in, even if it’s not exactly revolutionary.
That sentiment carries over into the film’s action, aka the bulk of the film’s attention. The Rock and Evans face off against a variety of goons and CGI beastfolk in a variety of green-screened locales in fights that often feel oddly reminiscent of “Ant-Man.” You see, The Rock is armed with a high-tech arm brace that lets him grow small toys into life-size versions, and boots that let him shrink down into a miniature version of himself. It’s amusing the first time. It’s tiring when it becomes clear that these gadgets are the extent of the film’s “cleverness” regarding action.
This is emblematic of the problems with “Red One.” It’s derivative of the lesser films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, from the mumbo-jumbo-filled dialogue (E.L.F. and M.O.R.A. are but two of the many acronyms in this movie) to the reliance on high-tech gimmick fights to its hollow villains and compensatory star-studded casts.
That said… despite its problems, I didn’t hate “Red One.” I for one happen to be a fan of Marvel movies in spite of their flaws too, so what amounts to a yuletide imitation is hardly unpalatable. Christmas movies have always been cheesy — this is no different. As so many holiday movies do — it feels cliché, and it is. But maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.
So this holiday season, when you’re curled up in your heated blanket on the couch with a hot mug of cocoa or eggnog looking for a movie to watch with your family, loved ones or on your own… don’t sleep on “Red One.” Don’t rush out to see it, but if you’re looking for a festive and formulaically frictionless two-hour time-waster, you could do a whole lot worse.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Paws