Prior to March 16, I had never seen a single episode of “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette.” I am, as such, probably the least qualified member of The Panther’s editorial board to be writing this review. But a woman I really like told me to watch it, so I had a lot of incentive. 

Thus, I plopped down on my couch on a lazy Tuesday afternoon, preparing to watch some poor woman get their heart broken as a dude who she’s way too good for rides off into the sunset sticking his tongue down another woman’s throat. 

Well, I and America’s audience certainly got that in the final episode of season 25, as this year’s bachelor Matt James — the first Black bachelor in the show’s history – rejected the hell out of Michelle Young on his way to offering Rachael Kirkconnell the final rose, literally picking her up and walking off into said sunset sticking his tongue down her throat. Yet in a long-overdue move from “The Bachelor” after a history of white contestants, the final “After the Final Rose” episode also provided a poignant commentary on race in America and the importance of self-education for non-BIPOC people, highlighted by a powerful conversation between James and Kirkconnell. 

Approximately a month ago, images surfaced on social media that showed Kirkconnell, a white woman, at an “antebellum”-themed party in 2018 — an event celebrating the pre-South Civil War and the existence of slavery. What’s more, Chris Harrison has been sidelined from his longtime hosting duties of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” after defending Kirkconnell in a February interview with former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay. 

It immediately became baffling to me that the episode, stuck in its own little bubble due to being filmed months prior, hadn’t touched on the controversy. However, it quickly dawned on me that James had no idea about Kirkconnell’s past while episodes were being filmed.

In the meantime, I spent the entire episode taking notes such as “What the hell, Matt,” because even without knowing about Kirkconnell’s past, it was clear Young was the better choice for a proposal. She was a schoolteacher who clearly had a realistic perception of relationships and loved James on a deep level. Kirkconnell was a graphic designer who seemed incapable of making more than one dead-eyed expression and talked about their relationship and the idea of love like she was reading quotes from a Buzzfeed article. I was #TeamMichelle from the first five minutes of the episode, which made it infuriating when James dumped her unceremoniously in a hotel. Seriously, how could you do that, man? Young was clearly there for you, she …

Ahem, I mean — I was bored the whole time! I didn’t care about that final episode at all. Couldn’t be me. I would rather be watching a sports game, am I right, fellas?

In all seriousness, James grew on me. At heart, he is scared of commitment because he doesn’t want his marriage to fail like that of his parents. I can relate to that, and watching James internally struggle with his feelings over the course of the episode spoke to me. In the final minutes of episode 11, he ended the show on his terms by giving Kirkconnell a rose but not proposing to her; rather, he wanted to take more time to explore their relationship. That resonated with me, until I remembered the controversy James would soon find out. 

In “After the Final Rose,” host and former NFL player Emmanuel Acho — filling in for Harrison — has a one-on-one conversation with James about the pressure of being the first Black Bachelor, prior to moderating a conversation with James and Kirkconnell. We learn James has understandably broken up with Kirkconnell, clearly shaken by finding out about her past. It was devastating to watch a man who’d seemingly overcome his internal fear of commitment now completely betrayed. 

“Google Therapist Near me,” James tweeted March 16.

Kirkconnell, to her credit, did a decent job of taking accountability for her actions, deflecting a question from Acho about what in her background led her to participating in the antebellum event and emphasizing she didn’t want to make excuses. Yet as James and Kirkconnell talked on the set of the interview for allegedly the first time since they’d broken up, it was clear James was almost seeing a different person. When Kirkconnell tried to take his hand in hers, he eventually pulled away. When Acho tried to pry to understand his feelings, James stared blankly, tears welling in his eyes. 

It was a heart wrenching moment, and its sheer authenticity from a show that has often seemed less-than-authentic was powerful. James explained what surprised him was when he first discussed the posts with Kirkconnell, she didn’t truly understand their significance, making him feel as if she didn’t understand what it meant to be Black in America. That motivated the breakup, as James said he wanted to give her time to educate herself despite still having feelings for her.

It served as a poignant reflection on white ignorance — ignorance demonstrated in support shown for Kirkconnell after the episode. In a March 15 Instagram post, Kirkconnell herself expressed hope that the final episode of Season 25 would open dialogue about bias; yet comments with thousands of likes on the post completely missed the point, expressing sentiments such as “He doesn’t deserve you! If he can’t stand by you now, he never will!” and “(You) deserve to be treated with so much more respect.” 

It is not James’ responsibility, in any sense, to stand by Kirkconnell while she learns the racial significance of attending a party that celebrates the era of slavery. More generally, it is not a Black person’s responsibility to teach white people about their history and their trauma. To work toward a more equitable world, longtime oppressors must do the work for themselves. Kirkconnell’s fans, it seems, were too tainted by the idealistic version of love portrayed in “The Bachelor” to realize that. 

Nonetheless, it’s encouraging that an episode of “The Bachelor” can provide a platform for these kinds of discussions. Here’s hoping the program continues to peel back the fabric and increase its racial awareness. I know I’ll be watching “The Bachelorette” — starring Young — to find out.