Maybe we’re more relaxed at night. Maybe we’re so tired we don’t even realize what we’re saying. Maybe it’s because the moon is out. I don’t really care what the reason is, but there’s something about 1 a.m. conversations that just hits different. 

There’s something about staying up late that has always been magical to me. From the first time I was able to stay awake till midnight for New Years to the sleepovers I had in middle school with my friends, things just feel different when it’s dark outside and the world is sleeping.

In my time at Chapman I’ve made many friends, and I have a lot of fond memories with them, but some of the most special ones have been conversations we’ve had late at night. These conversations vary from incredibly deep to unbelievably incoherent and funny, but there’s always something special about them that makes them stand out. 

I’ve had conversations about life, insecurities, our futures and so many more things. And I have those deep conversations all the time. But the ones I’ve had late at night have a certain rawness to them that the others don’t. 

If we’re talking about our plans for the future during the day, we might mention where our ideal job would be and what we want our lives to look like. But late at night we usually find ourselves discussing our insecurities about our career choices and the imposter syndrome we sometimes feel.

When talking about religion during the day it was easy to just compare and talk about the differences between the main religions and how they fit into our daily lives. But it’s in one of those late night talks that I first opened up about my anger towards religion and the emptiness it left in me. 

I have this one very clear memory from my first week of my freshman year. It was after midnight, and I was in a study lounge with this person I had just met a couple days ago. And for some inexplicable reason, we just couldn’t stop laughing. 

Everything we said just seemed hilarious and we were laughing so hard our stomachs hurt and we could barely catch our breaths. That was the first time I felt certain that I would make good friends in college and just like that the loneliness and fear from those first few weeks disappeared.

Those late nights with friends go beyond just conversations too. From goofing around with lighting so we could pretend like we’re in a “Twilight” movie to going around campus scattering leaves for the symbolism of my letting go ritual, some of my most treasured memories were made late at night, and I have a feeling that’s not a coincidence.

I hope I never stop having these precious late night moments. 

Realistically I know that once we’re out of college and living in different places it’ll be more difficult for me and my friends to meet at random nights to philosophize about the meaning of life. Other things will take precedence over hanging out late at night. 

If we’re lucky maybe the moon will keep pushing us together for our occasional 1 a.m. conversations.