Record scratch. Freeze frame. Yup, that’s me: the fly. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Most of the time, my species are either swatted at, murdered, called disgusting or just plain hated by most people – which is fair, since we literally throw up when we touch food. But as it turns out, you become an American icon if you show up to a presidential debate, especially one where I’m not the only hated creature in the room. Here’s my story: 

It was a beautiful day in Salt Lake City, Utah, on Oct. 7. I was flying around the city, heading to my favorite dumpster and feeling like a million bucks, when a brisk wind altered my course. Suddenly, I found myself stuck inside of Kingsbury Hall. What I came to find was much more interesting than a dumpster; it was a verbal landmine for political theater.

As an avid reader of The New York Times’ print copies I find in neighborhood recycle bins, I found this particular argument between California Sen. Kamala Harris and Vice President Mike Pence compelling. I did not agree with many of the white-haired man’s arguments, particularly when he was asked about white supremacy and said that “our air and land are cleaner than any time ever recorded.” As someone who consumes that air in their daily flying, and someone who knows that the Trump administration actually sought to weaken the Environmental Protection Agency’s regulations on pollutants, I found Pence’s point odd.

The man also seemed to be interrupting Harris excessively. So it was quite the power move when she stood her ground and said, “Mr. Vice President, I am speaking. I’m speaking.” Chills up and down my thorax, I tell you!

However, I couldn’t hear very well, so I flew a little closer to hear what each candidate had to say on the topic of law and order. Pence suggested there is no implicit bias in our law enforcement, so I took a front row seat on his shiny noggin to hear more. (Kamala smelled too flowery and fresh for my taste.)

Little did I know, this was my star-in-the-making moment. However, I quickly realized the limelight was too much. I hated Pence’s argument; I wanted to fly away. 

But to my dismay, I was stuck.

My six legs were sinking like quicksand into the depths of some sort of white, gooey product in the vice president’s hair. I love the smell of trash, which his hair reminded me of, however I hate the smell of a trash argument. Suddenly, I noticed a camera pointing directly at me. This was bad. Harris and I totally made eye contact, which was a big highlight, but I wasn’t in the most comfortable of positions to wave back.

I made it out eventually, but here’s the sad truth. As a fly, my species’ average lifespan is only 28 days, so I unfortunately might die before the election results come out. So America: please go out and vote. Do it for me.

Editor’s note: We want to thank the fly for sharing their story with The Panther. We also want to point out that even though we may have gotten distracted for the two-or-so minutes the fly sat on Pence’s head, we can’t let that be the only thing we discuss about the debate. The memes are funny, but let’s be sure to discuss the debate’s content, the issues raised and the points made by both candidates to help us decide who to go and vote our hearts out for. 

As writers, we love some good symbolism. And for a fly – a creature that symbolizes lies, excuses and filth – to land on one of the candidate’s heads and not the other … Well, who’s to say it’s not a sign?