Let me tell you a story.

It’s about a time that I accepted a position as an editor for The Panther with the belief that my school would do anything to help me succeed. It’s about a time where I took this job with the hope of pursuing a career in journalism. It’s about that time that I was hopeful about my upcoming semester.

Things didn’t exactly go as planned. I got hit with a huge slap in the face when I became Opinions Editor at The Panther this semester.

Writing and editing for The Panther has been one of the most rewarding and positive experiences of my life. I love the people I work with like family and I can say with 100 percent certainty that it has made me a better writer. When I got this job, I knew I would be receiving hate comments and negative reactions to my stories from people who don’t agree with a word I say before they’ve even read my article. I expected that; I was prepared for that. Writing as the Opinions Editor means that I’m sharing my opinion on something. I knew people were going to disagree with me. That’s literally the epitome of opinions.

What I didn’t expect when I started working for The Panther, what I couldn’t have imagined when we published our first issue this semester, was the unwillingness of Chapman to work with us. 

Week after week, I’ve sat in meetings and heard the same stories: we’re hitting a roadblock because the Chapman administration isn’t willing to work with us on this issue or the next. From Lisa Sparks running for Congress to former President George W. Bush visiting campus, it seems as if the administration isn’t working with us; rather they’re working against us. 

The Panther is Chapman’s premier news source. We’ve been on campus since 1926 – 93 years! We’re a staple part of this campus, whether the administration likes to hide it or not.

This entire Bush ordeal has been a nightmare. I can’t even begin to describe the frustration that our entire staff has felt. It seems like every email and phone call leads to a dead end. It feels like we are belittled as those “student journalists” who don’t really know what they’re talking about. To be quite honest, that sucks.

I’m not going to pretend I’m some writer for The New York Times or some award-winning journalist. I’m not. But that’s what I joined The Panther to eventually become. I know there are going to be comments that say I’m some whiney, undeserving student who should quit or give up or stop attending Chapman – really, I’ve gotten that comment. But honestly, working constantly to improve your campus is a fundamental part about going to college. College students are known for their activism and their inability to stand idly by. And that’s what I’m doing here. That’s what The Panther is doing. Call that whining all you want, but it’s just us revealing that ugly truth of the situation. 

I’m ready to throw hands because of this entire experience. It’s been defeating, infuriating. It’s caused me – and the rest of our staff – to cry, laugh and throw our hands up into the air in frustration.

Why do we have to do everything in our power for our administration just to work with us? Why do we have to fight tooth and nail just to be given the opportunity to report the way we should be reporting? Why does it feel like the Chapman administration is rooting for my failure, rather than cheering me on? 

When I took this job, I didn’t realize that our own university would attempt to keep us from attending a monumental event on campus. Even that reality didn’t dawn on me until we found out that it was in fact my school’s administration, not Bush’s office, who prevented us from attending the former President’s visit on campus.

Week after week has taught me that it’s important to stick to your morals and your ethics. It’s taught me that you can learn from being the underdog. It’s taught me that sometimes you have to grin and bear it. And it’s taught me that despite everything, I’ve learned more from having a door slammed in my face than I ever thought I would.

So whatever the world is willing to throw at me, I’m ready to take it.