Opinion | People are lonelier than ever because of social media and phones

Take a second to think about the strain phones and media put on your mind. Photo courtesy of Adobe Stock

It has not been so long since phones have been around and such a big part of our lives. I can’t remember the last time I went a day without going on a phone, whether for social media, mobile games, entertainment or any other reason you can think of. 

Especially for my generation (Gen Z), mobile devices like phones, computers/laptops and iPads are something we have been conscious of and have used basically our whole lives.  So, we don't know a world that is not full of these sorts of devices. 

The main problem with phones and social media is that they don’t leave space for us to disconnect. There is always room to think about what other people are up to, which can take away time for us to worry about our own lives.

Let me give you an example. Say there's an event going on, and you can't go because you have to stay home to write a paper. It will be hard to lock in on the paper because of all the online reminders of what you're missing out on. The fear of missing out (fomo) is so real, and I know most of us feel that. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be checking my socials to see the fun or exciting posts my friends are posting from the event I’m missing. 

Even in relationships, many people get so wrapped up in "why aren't they answering" or "they haven't been active in so long." The amount of instant gratification we crave ruins our sense of the moment and living in it. 

A couple of decades ago, you would have to wait until someone could write you a letter to hear back from them. Even 20 or 30 years ago, once you left school or work, you would have to wait a day until you could hear back from them. But now, we've gained this sixth sense and can track people's locations and active status through apps. There is never a chance to miss someone and enjoy the time you spend with them. It prompts us to constantly worry about what could be happening in the moment and the "what if." 

All of this anxiety causes loneliness. The fear of missing out and missing chances is because we're too aware of everyone else's lives, and there is no room to worry about our own. Not that in the past this idea of fear wasn't still present, but now it's everywhere and at the tip of our fingers. Once you open a device, you can't miss it. It complicates life to a new extreme, and it can be hard to balance.

Access to other people's content can allow us to feel like they don't need to make personal connections. Go outside, walk for five minutes and count the number of people with their heads down looking at a phone. It might surprise you.

I always see posts about people saying they’ll go "no phones" or "deleting social media." They do it for a certain amount of time, and the results always end with them feeling a sense of relief. If you think you can do it, try cutting out all social media for a week and see how your self-esteem changes.

At the end of the day, would I say I despise social media and think it's terrible? No. People can consciously use its presence to build connections and learn more because of how accessible it has become. But a fine line exists between having fun and letting it become harmful.