Opinion | The problem with complaining culture
Jasmin Sani
Managing Editor
@jasminsani
One step into the library is all it takes to come across at least 20 different moods at any given moment. A female student with her nose practically shoved into her anatomy textbook, a male student scrambling to print his essay before his class starts, or a group of students discussing how they intend to split up a project that one of them will probably end up having to salvage on their own – we all know how group projects go. Each of these individuals is going through an avalanche of diverse emotions; the relief on the face of a student who just finished their eight-page paper or the pure exhaustion plastered on the face of a student who stayed up all night studying.
Regardless of the type you might currently associate as, the fact of our present situation is clear: the threat of midterms and major project deadlines are beginning to loom over Chapman’s 78 acre-wide campus. Everyone is slowly starting to panic and we all know that anxiety’s favorite hobby is complaining.
We complain too much. Yes, I know how hard you worked on your history thesis statement and how dare your professor critique your screenplay that you spent hours perfecting. But! The amount of time you just spent going on and on about your heavy workload is only more time lost reflecting on how you can improve. Not only that, but you can actually damage your relationships when you complain.
Hear me out. When was the last time you started to tell your friends how annoyed you were about one thing or another, before they interjected with a complaint of their own? Depending on what they tell you, you either: A. Feel horrible for making your problems seem like a catastrophic sequence of events; or B. Feel even more upset that your friends minimized and discredited your issues. If it’s the latter, then you’re probably now discouraged to return with other personal matters.
No one likes listening to complaints as much as one likes to complain. There’s almost this battle between two people to see who is more qualified to say they have more stress – which isn’t exactly something we should be striving for. Since when did it become a competition? I would rather keep to myself than be overpowered by a student who has one too many priorities to maintain – which ultimately is his or her fault, not mine.
Of course, I’m not saying to bottle everything up, lock your problems in a pastel-painted dollhouse and pretend everything is as perfect as the CGI in Lil Nas X’s “Panini” music video. What I am saying is to instead take a step back, reevaluate your current tasks and goals and just breathe.
So next time you see me around campus and ask how I’m doing, I will definitely say, “Stressed.” But I don’t dive into the bullet points and specific instances that have led me to my current emotional state – unless I’m asked to elaborate. And if I do so, please listen without interrupting, because then I’ll be more than willing to do the same.