Opinion | Bad sports movies are iconic
Joe Perrino, Sports Editor
Commissioner Roger Goodell steps to the podium on the night of the annual NFL Draft. He announces to the millions of people watching that the team with the first pick is “on the clock.”
At this point, I’ve seen this movie a million times before. This isn’t the actual NFL Draft, it’s a scene from a 2014 movie, “Draft Day.” I open my phone and go to text my friend a single phrase that both of us know so well:
Toward the end of the movie, Sonny Weaver Jr. – the fictional general manager of the Cleveland Browns, played by Kevin Costner – is trying to make trades and the right draft selections to ultimately save himself from getting fired by Browns management. Once the draft starts, instead of taking hotshot quarterback Bo Callahan, Weaver throws the NFL world into an uproar when he selects the hard-working Mack instead. Minutes after the draft, his colleague and girlfriend Ali (Jennifer Garner) opens a tiny piece of paper Weaver handed her earlier in the movie, with one sentence scribbled on it: “Vontae Mack no matter what.”
This movie might not sound bad, but it’s truly awful. The plot line is predictable and corny. Its understanding of football is subpar. But gosh darn, does it make me happy. It’s a sports movie mixed with a love story, rounded out with a feel good message about working hard and achieving your goals.
It’s these happy little messages that get me in such a good mood after watching awful sports movies like this. And I wouldn’t want them any other way. Even when they’re as much of a glorious atrocity as 2012’s “Thunderstruck.”
“Thunderstruck” stars NBA superstar Kevin Durant as himself and Taylor Gray as a kid named Brian who sucks at basketball. One day, Brian somehow steals Durant’s basketball skill by touching the same ball as Durant after pegging the Oklahoma City Thunder’s mascot in a feeble half court shot attempt at halftime of a Thunder game. Then Brian and Durant become friends after Durant begins to play like hot garbage and Brian becomes the star of his high school team. That’s it. That’s the whole plot.
Why do I love these movies? Certainly not for the writing, cinematic innovations, and definitely not the acting.
I love these movies for the feel-good stories, messages and iconic moments. A young kid becoming friends with a professional athlete during unforeseen circumstances? Come on, every kid dreams of that. A crinkled up piece of paper showcases the entire franchise-changing plan of a general manager? Timeless. How many movie zingers in awful films turn into inside jokes or things to bond over? I’ll cherish “Vontae Mack no matter what” and Brian’s heroic journey for the rest of my life.