Opinion | What to do in sports’ dead zone

Luca Evans

Sports Editor

@lucae123

Ladies and gents of all sports affiliations, it’s time to pour yourselves a tall mug of Gatorade, for we have officially entered professional sports’ dead zone.

The dead zone is the period from mid-February to early March, when baseball season hasn’t started, football has wrapped up and basketball and hockey are almost through their seasons and don’t really mean anything. It’s so boring you actually think it might be more interesting to smack yourself in the head five times with one of your textbooks.

But fear not, Chapman fanatics. Here are some lovely things to watch in the meantime while you wait until hockey playoff season or baseball’s opening day.

Watch Chapman sports: You probably miss your favorite baseball team, so consider bandwagoning the one that is right on campus. Chapman won the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division III championship last season and is currently on a seven-game winning streak. Softball, track-and-field and tennis seasons have also started; the men’s and women’s basketball teams are gearing up for the end of their seasons. I’ve written excessively about this in the past, but please for the love of Jerry Price and all things holy go support your fellow Panthers.

Watch the XFL: You probably miss football. But the National Football League (NFL) counterpart XFL is officially up and running, and surprisingly fun. Featuring players with NFL experience like Landry Jones of the Dallas Renegades and Christine Michael of the St. Louis Battlehawks, the XFL boasts crisper jerseys and a faster pace of play than the NFL. Plus, teams party hard after the games.

Watch “Parasite:” You might miss sports because you miss watching something exciting, thought-provoking and jaw-dropping. So, instead, watch the recently-crowned Best Picture “Parasite.” It’s as good as everyone says it is, if not better. Don’t be scared because there are subtitles. Just do it. Please.

Watch the birds flying in the sky: You might miss the allure of LeBron James soaring through the air to dunk on opponents during the National Basketball Association (NBA) playoffs. So instead, take a few minutes in nature – say, Atallah Piazza – and stare up into the sky to watch something else cruise through the clouds. Watch Tik Tok: You might miss…procrastinating on other responsibilities for three hours so you can watch your favorite sports team. Now, you can procrastinate on other responsibilities for three hours by watching a variety of cursed videos involving folks smiling at a camera and swinging their arms violently in motions that now constitute “dancing.”

Yikes, did I ever run out of viable options quickly. It can’t be late March any sooner.