Opinion | An almost comprehensive list of Chapman majors as Role Model lyrics
Collage by Izzy Betz
The University Program Board has a history of bringing some iconic singers and comedians to Chapman: The Driver Era, Mekki Leeper, Connor Wood, Peach Tree Rascals, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield and even Sean Kingston.
This year, whether they are aware of it or not, they brought someone who is both an amazing singer and a comedian in the eyes of many: Tucker Pillsbury, aka Role Model.
The Panther tasked me, a pretty big fan of Role Model’s music, to come up with an almost comprehensive list of Chapman University majors as Role Model songs and lyrics.
You may be asking yourself — isn’t a lot of Role Model’s music about sex, dating, drugs and the popstar life? What do Chapman students know about being cool like that? Well, I tried my best to capture the essence of each major — so don’t be upset, business majors, I could have been meaner.
Dance
“And old folks from home say she’s a sinner
But, if God saw her dance, then
He’d forgive her”
Accounting
“Saw you having dinner
With some douchebag in a suit and tie”
Film Production
“if jesus saves, she’s my type”
“I’ve been livin’ on my lonely, goin’ off the rails
I need someone who can hold me like the fairytales”
Pharmacy
“rx”
“It’s the ways I’m medicating
It’s the apps for meditating
It’s the way they never work
It’s the high I’m always chasing”
Psychology
“Texting me, told you come have sex with me
Respectfully, I think about you sexually”
Environmental Science
“Frances”
“She loved the pine trees
Would swing from the branches
On days like this”
Economics
“Well, he was bragging ‘bout investments
She was talking ‘bout Ozempic”
Religious Studies
“Guess it’s hard to find an angel
When it’s hell on Earth”
Theatre + Theater Performance
“I click my heels three times, oh
We’re not in Kansas anymore”
Education
“Oh, I believe they’re meant to be
Something, somehow, someday
Yes, it’s clear to me, they’re meant to be
Something, somehow, someday”
Philosophy
“And all dudes who acting tough
could use some help on how to love
I found a place to be myself
And there’s not room for no one else”
Political Science
“I can see us in a nice house
Bigger than the White House, baby
Or I could see us in New York
Buying shit we can’t afford, am I crazy?”
Screenwriting
“I picture everything’s perfect,
Everything was worth all the waiting
I haven’t figured out the ending,
I’m only just pretending”
Business
“But frat boys in the city gonna hate us
They impress their daddy’s with an A+”
Creative Producing
“I heard she killed a man out in Hollywood
Now we’re holding hands
Pray to God she’s good”
Art
“That fake confidence is like a hobby
But you’re not confident,
I think you’re just cocky”
If you want to hear these lyrics live, listen to an acapella version of “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter and learn some lore behind the TikTok account @saintlaurentcowboy, join The Panther tomorrow at the fall concert.
Tickets for UPB & the Student Government Association fall concert featuring Role Model are available at Chapman Ticketing.