Sibling-less students examine credibility of only child tropes

Chapman students without siblings discuss how they have fallen into different only child stereotypes. Illustration by MORGAN SEIGLER, Illustrator

Borrowed toys that were never returned, pulled hair at the slightest disagreement and a stolen spotlight after receiving an A on a report card are just a few obstacles that come with having a sibling.

Being an only child, on the other hand, isn’t always a walk in the park either, even though there isn't a tug-of-war fight to open Christmas gifts each year. In the early 1900s, studies showed that only children had narcissistic tendencies as a result of overbearing parents, and child psychologist G. Stanley Hall even said “being an only child is a disease in itself.”

Due to these early studies, stereotypes are often made about only children. This includes, but is not limited to, being spoiled, independent or creative. 

With the recent passing of National Siblings Day April 10, The Panther aimed to categorize the various only child tropes and explore their validity.

The "it's all about me, me, me and me" kids

Only child Brenda Lai, a sophomore public relations and advertising major, told The Panther there are times when she falls into the typical stereotypes, though try as she might to break free of the “you look like an only child” expression.

Lai recalled a memory from seventh grade basketball when she felt a bit spoiled in comparison to her teammates with siblings. Both of Lai’s parents would attend all of her games, because they had no other sibling events to attend, whereas some of her teammates didn’t have relatives in the stands. 

“There was this one opportunity where (my basketball team) went to San Jose State (University) and played a scrimmage during halftime,” Lai said. “It was cool because (there was a large audience), and I scored the winning shot. So it was just really cool to have (both of my parents) there.”

Hannah Welsh, a senior psychology and integrated educational studies double major, said she also feels spoiled due to the opportunities she has been given because she is an only child. 

“It's so much easier (financially) for me to go to Chapman, (whereas if I had) siblings, I don't think that I would be able to have the college experience that I've had if I did have a lot of siblings,” Welsh said. “So I'm really grateful.” \

The "I read at a 12th grade level in third grade" kids

Although vastly different from being spoiled, another stereotype of only children is that they mature quickly and are forced to become independent. Welsh felt this rings true for her, since she grew up around her parents and their adult friends as opposed to children her own age.

“I think that (I matured) fast, because my parents would have their friends over, and so I would always talk with them,” Welsh said. “In a way, I learned how to communicate with adults more (than people my age), because when there were (gatherings) happening in my house, my parents’ friends would be the ones to be there.”

Sometimes being an only child who is forced to mature quickly means facing pressure from one’s parents. An only child must face all criticisms from their parents, as well as meet all expectations — since there is no sibling to share the load.

Elton Ortiz, a graduate student in the health and strategic communication program, endured his fair share of moments where he was forced to grow up quicker than one maybe should. 

“There's pressure that has come with my family, because (my parents are) both immigrants from Guatemala," Ortiz said. "So there is pressure to grow because of that, and also because of being an only child. All of those sacrifices that they've made and all the effort that they've put in to help me have this opportunity to be in college has been left to me to be the one who sews all of those positive rewards for them."

The "I'm just expressing myself, Mom" kids

Lastly, a common assumption about only children is that they are hyper creative with a huge imagination due to seemingly endless childhood years of entertaining themselves.  

Stefan Sandalis, a junior strategic and corporate communication major, used his time as an only child to practice his imagination, which he feels helped him later in life to develop strong creative problem-solving skills.

“It definitely gets boring as a kid being an only child, because I didn’t have that sibling to annoy or play with, but I think me being an only child is a core reason as to why I am an independent person, more creative and so close with my best friends,” Sandalis said. “I feel like a key reason why I have such a big imagination is because I imagined so much as a kid and growing up having to do a lot on my own.”

It is important to note that although these experiences aligned with what might be considered only child stereotypes, all interviewees felt as though they resonated with each stereotype from time to time and shared a holistic combination of each one.

Since the studies done in the early 1900s, more recent studies have shown that “only children were more sociable in terms of being more outgoing, engaging more in extracurricular activities, and enjoying higher levels of peer acceptance than those with siblings" — proving against the original, harmful stereotypes.

Welsh told The Panther that although she lacked in the sibling department, she made up for it through the strong friendships she has made through every phase of life. Being an only child has even helped her decide her career path.

“I really loved school because that’s where all my friends were and that's where all of the socialization with people my age happened,” Welsh said. “I think that is part of why I want to be a teacher is because of how much I loved school growing up.”

Sandalis, although sometimes fatigued from the constant pressure he feels to make his parents proud, said he is incredibly grateful for the relationship he has with them  due to the lack of other children in the house.

“I am grateful that I am an only child, because it is a reason that I am so close with my parents," Sandalis said. "People with older or younger siblings have that shoulder to lean on or to ask for advice, but I didn’t have that, so I would go to my parents a lot which is a big reason why my parents are my best friends.”